Let go and BE Happy
In the search and development of happiness the ability to accept ourselves and be as we are is incredibly freeing and transformative. From childhood we are taught how to move and behave in the outer world but sadly we are never taught how to be still and examine what is within ourselves. Our inability to be kind to ourselves directly relates to the time we invest in ourselves. As a result many of us do not know who we are and whether we are happy or not.
Society focuses on us being constantly busy trying to achieve more and more. ‘Busy-ness’ is often viewed as a commodity of success whilst being still and quiet is seen to be a waste of time. As Allan Wallace states ‘solitude and seclusion are associated for many with boredom, loneliness, fear and depression’. However, ‘busy-ness’ can be be more accurately viewed as the commodity of avoidance. Actually by giving ourselves time, quality quiet time, without external distractions we can come face to face with ourselves and begin to see how we think and what makes us happy.
It is generally accepted that the person who we think we are emerges as result of two major controlling factors namely our genes and our early environment. It is these factors that give us the experience of being ourself. In a world where we are constantly under pressure from early childhood into mature adulthood we are effectively controlled by these two factors and rarely have time to contemplate our thoughts and feelings. Yet if we do we find that our brains are full of opinions and criticism that we have learned and have been enforced upon us and importantly we consider to be true. These patterns of thinking about ourselves are often clearly incorrect and extremely destructive. Evidence suggests that if you want one recipe to make you unhappy, it would be to focus on the things you criticize or don’t like about yourself.
Just imagine how you would feel if you gave yourself time to just BE. A few moments, minutes or days when the brain is not burdened with memories of the past or plans for the future. A present moment that it is liberated from all our mental constructs based on who we believe we are and everyone thinks we should be. Such moments will allow us to feel a calmness, free from expectation and fear. These moments can be achieved through the practice of mindfulness.
By giving ourselves time to BE more mindful we can learn to be aware of how we think. By being aware we can learn to let go of habitual negative and inhibiting thoughts and feelings. We can begin to stimulate patterns in our brains that are self nourishing and change the way we think about ourselves. We can then begin to think about developing and becoming genuinely happy. The happiness that I am referring to is perhaps best described by Mathieu Richard, named as the happiest man in the world. ‘By happiness I mean here a deep sense of flourishing that arises from an exceptionally healthy mind. This is not a mere pleasurable feeling, a fleeting emotion, or mood, but an optimal state of being’.
You have the right and the ability to BE and BE Happy. To do this it takes time and patience. If you give yourself time to develop mindfulness in your life you can become genuinely happy and transform yourself and you life around you. I look forward to hearing from you.